ANXIETY

It's the worst,
not knowing...
I know you know, but I actually don't know.
You act so casual, as if nothing was said, as if nothing happened.
Everything is fine I say to myself, it's better this way,
even if he knows, he is acting this way to let you know he doesn't care.
But you know he does... it's not the first time... and he does care.
Or does he.
Its been so long,
you no longer know him, you no longer know yourself.

Its the worst
not knowing,
why did she stop writing,
she is not interested she says...
but I know she is, why would she ask for my number then?
Its been months now, forget it, why do you even bother thinking about it.
I want to text her, and ask why? or just to know what is going on,
why not?
its been so long,
you don't know yourself anymore, you don't know her, who is she?

Its the worst,
not knowing...
who are you, why are you here?
which path leads ahead, why should you keep on walking.
there is no path, there is only life, its the end of the road,
you make your own path from now on...
why are you not making your path...
its been so long...
you no longer recognize your dreams anymore, where are they?

Its the worst,
feeling anxious all the time,
not knowing, what is this feeling?
not understanding, why do I feel this way?
not feeling, where did my drive, my motivation go?
the path ahead does not exist.

    And its the worst,
                 not knowing,
                      what comes next...